Vocabulary Police No. 65 – ‘Sorry’

One of the most overused words in the female vocabulary is ‘Sorry’.

‘Sorry’ has become our default setting, our ladylike way of softening the blow, of ensuring we won’t offend. Problem is, with blatant over-use ‘Sorry’ loses any semblance of power and majesty, and so in turn do we.

So, today may I suggest we save our sorry’s for the stuff that really matters and resist the urge to apologise for almost everything else.

Let’s stop apologising for having an opinion – ‘Sorry, but I don’t think that’s true’.

Let’s stop apologising for not always saying yes, – ‘Sorry, I have a dinner to go to that night.’

Let’s stop apologising for simply having feelings – ‘Sorry, I am just being over-sensitive’

Let’s stop apologising for not being supermodels – ‘Sorry, I know I look awful. I must get my roots done soon.’

Let’s stop apologising for being hit on by guys we don’t fancy, ‘Sorry, would you mind taking your hand off my arse.’

And please let’s stop apologising at work. There is no need to be ‘Sorry’ for every email you don’t reply to immediately, or for simply reminding someone to do something they already said they would do. And there is certainly no need to excuse yourself when it comes to negotiating your salary or asking for a raise.

While we’re at it, shall we also try and avoid the ‘sorry’ that lurks apologetically in other parts of our vocabulary. The timid tip-toe of, ‘You may not agree with me, but…..’ or the equally backfooted, ‘I am no expert but….’. Let us banish the cowardly request for approval after everything we say – ‘is that Ok with you?’ Don’t let’s pussyfoot around with words like actually*. Because ‘actually, I disagree’ sounds a lot like ‘sorry, I’m not sure I agree.’ If you disagree – just say you disagree. Period.

And there is another word that must go too. Just. What a pathetic, limp excuse for a word that is.

Just.

‘I just look after the kids.’

‘I just work part time.’

‘I just run a small business from home.’

’I just manage the rental properties.’

Really? Well, I am just about fed up with us feeling like we must apologise for everything.

A few years ago, a clever cartoonist by the name of Yao Xiao suggested we use ‘thank you’ in place of the standard ‘I’m sorry’. This is an excellent reminder that what we say matters and that even small changes can make the meek mighty again.

This Get Smarter post is brought to you by someone who will be quite sorry to say goodbye to ‘Actually’.