3 Ways to Make Sure All that ‘New Year/New Me’ Crap Isn’t.

Most of us talk a pretty big game around this time of year. 2018 will be the year we will do more, be better and somehow magically morph into the person we feel we deserve to be. January 17^th is the date we apparently all abandon ship on the lofty ideals, and go back to being the exact same person we were when the clock struck midnight just a few short weeks ago.

I am a glass half-full kind of a gal – and let’s face it, sometimes a glass-right-to-the-brim kind of a gal – so I think we should still at least give this New Year/New Me business a red hot go. So here – in the spirit of optimism that this year can indeed be different – are 3 suggestions to give January 17^th the righteous middle finger.

1. One Thing! Instead of Everything!

I mean, talk about setting ourselves up for failure. The lists are too long and the pressure too real. C’mon – are you really, all-at-once, going to start journaling, juicing, meditating, saving, being mindful, smoke-free, fat-free, guilt-free, carb-free, goal orientated, career driven, strong, independent, sober, lean and community minded member of society?

Probs not.

So why not pick just ONE thing instead of EVERYthing? If we really drill deep down into our soul, we know that there is ONE change that will have the MOST significant impact on the 12 months that lie ahead. It may be around making changes in our relationship – with people or food or alcohol. It might be turning the focus on our finances (f*ck, I forgot to save!), or our job (what do I really want to be when I grow up?) or our family (Prince Charming is taking his sweet time – might be wise to freeze my eggs). It might be about taking more time to look after ourselves (and what would this look like?) or less time with people who don’t improve our world.

Good News is, it does get EASIER. Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, in their bestselling book ‘The One Thing – the surprisingly simple truth behind extraordinary results’, remind us:

‘Success is sequential, not simultaneous. No one actually has the discipline to acquire more than one powerful habit at a time. Super-successful people aren’t super-human at all; they’ve just used selected discipline to develop a few significant habits. One at a time. Over time.’

Plus – most of us know that ONE change can often lead to LOTS more. You start exercising, which improves your mood, which attracts better people, which leads to more opportunities and on and on (not to mention the simple joy of looking a damn site better in your jeans).

2. Turn a Negative into a Positive.

All the giving up, stopping this, never doing that again can make the whole New Year/New Me crap sound like a GIANT Drag. New Year Resolutions don’t have to be negative. Why not be kinder to yourself and just chose something positive to add to the year ahead? A monthly massage as a reward for hitting the gym on a (semi) regular basis? Book a holiday with friends (and without the kids) – because bringing a human being in to the world can be super tiring and you deserve a break. Why not learn to cook? Find more opportunities to go out dancing? Grow a garden? Eat only really good quality chocolate? Throw a monthly dinner party? Try out surfing? Visit Japan?  – whatever it is that is going to float your particular boat – Do That.

Or if you are looking to make the shift from a ‘bad’ behaviour, try to frame the leap a little differently. Language is a powerful thing and often it only takes a small tweak to make the task sound less b-o-r-i-n-g and more e-x-c-i-t-i-n-g. You aren’t GIVING UP smoking – you are SETTING YOURSELF FREE* from the whole costly, smelly, fag breath, outside-by-the-bins, yellow stained finger nonsense – how glorious is that! You aren’t LOSING WEIGHT – you are FUELLING your body with delicious, healthy food that will IMPROVE your health, make shopping for new clothes a JOY and make your ex SQUIRM with regret that he ever let you go.

OK – squirming is not technically a positive, but revenge can be a solid, second tier motivator for sure 😉

3. Don’t Start in January.

Don’t go burdening poor old January with all your shiny new intentions. Here in Australia, it’s still summer, people are on holiday, bottles of rose are literally everywhere. Over in the UK it’s cold, and such a depressing, post-Christmas come-down of a month, that you need every last baked potato you can get your hands on. There is no rush. February is still there waiting patiently for you and your brand-new habits. Use January to MAKE A PLAN – as the foreplay so to speak. The month when intentions are EXPLORED and then slowly and mindfully set. Then, when the rest of the world has already reverted to their former selves you can smugly stride in to February with your ONE thing or POSITIVE changes and can confidently leave January 17^th in the dust!

 

This GET HAPPIER post is brought to you by somebody who wants to remind you that life will always give you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.

 

*’Setting yourself free’ – courtesy of Allan Carr – the clever dude who helped me to give up smoking 3 x and got me there in the end. I will be forever grateful.