Death of the Diet

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say farewell to our sometime friend Diet. Embraced by many, though loved by few, Diet eventually slipped away after a long and difficult battle with carbs. Diet will be remembered fondly by those who eventually came to their senses. In lieu of flowers, donations of everything in moderation, would be gratefully received.

You name it – I’ve tried it.

There is something so alluring about the idea that if I just eliminate this, this and that, don’t eat before 2pm, and not after 9pm, avoid anything white, say no thank you to dairy, avoid gluten like the plague and smear myself in kale juice, then I will eventually be as THIN as I think I should be.

It’s embarrassing. I know some really smart women who, right now, are doing ridiculous things to make themselves smaller. One friend of mine drives 40 minutes from home to buy some bizarre herbs that eliminate hunger. ‘It’s amazing. I am eating literally nothing, and I don’t feel hungry at all!’ Another injects herself with some kind of pregnancy hormone (I kid you not!) that is meant to miraculously melt fat and reduce cravings. Others are just doing the regular restrictive stuff. You know – all that 2/5, low carb, juice cleanse, keto friendly, sugar-free, paleo-tastic bullsh*t – that we have come to know and love. And consider totally normal.

Myself included.

And, quite frankly, it is becoming rather boring.

Some of you might be totally free from the tyranny of restrictive eating (often dressed up as ‘wellness’ lest we appear too shallow). Dieting? Gosh, no! I am just trying to improve my gut health. Sure, you are.

For those of you that are free, please be grateful. For the rest of you, I have an idea.

I have been reading a lot about ‘Intuitive Eating’ recently. Which, make no mistake, is quite different to ‘Mindful Eating’ with all that ‘thank you farmer for this food, thank you field for your gentle caress, thank you mouth for chewing it so rigorously’ business. Intuitive Eating is simply learning to eat when we are hungry, and to stop when we are not. The way we were when we were babies. Before we started putting a moral value on food, deciding some things were ‘bad’ and others were ‘good’. Before we started counting carbs, calories, points and macros. Before we measured our self worth by a number on a scale. Or a photo in a bikini. Before we started hating our bodies and saying no to baguettes.

But, just because it’s intuitive, doesn’t mean that it is easy.

Because, somewhere along the way, the food industry has f*cked us over (stashing sugar in literally everything). The internet has not helped at all, putting skinny people everywhere, whilst simultaneously making Uber Eats a thing. And honestly, between eating our feelings and the bouts of self-loathing, is it any wonder that we’ve lost our natural affinity with hunger?

So, yes, it’s not going to be easy.

But, you know what, my friend. I am going to give it a try.

Who’s with me?

This GET HAPPIER post is brought to you by someone who feels a little lighter already.