New Year. New You? Pah!

Oh Jeez – it’s that time of year again – when we can almost taste the promise of the new and improved us.

This will be the year – nay, the decade – when we will finally shed our lazy, drunken, biscuit-loving layers and embrace gut health and gratitude. Sobriety and saving. When we finally get a body our bikini would be proud of and a relationship that doesn’t cause self-loathing and doubt.

Look, I get it. The 2020 imaginary me is a well balanced, over-achieving, goddess too.

That said – I am mindful that, come February, we don’t all want to be weeping into our carbonara about what a pathetic failure we are once January’s grand plans have been abandoned.

So, in the spirit of realistic optimism and blatantly nicked from James Clear‘s clever book, ‘Atomic Habits’ here are:

The Four Laws of Behavior Change:

• Make it OBVIOUS: The first rule is about eliminating vague promises and intentions. 2020 might be the year you want to ‘get fit’ or ‘save more’, but studies have shown that being specific about the when and where (which they refer to as ‘implementation intentions’) makes a HUGE difference. It’s not lack of motivation that is to blame, it’s a lack of clarity. Make a plan – what are you going to do and when? I am going to Pilates on Tuesday at 5pm. I am going to meditate for 3 minutes every morning at 7am. A clever hack to encourage the stickiness of these habits is to ‘habit- stack’. This means you stack your new habit on top of one you already do unconsciously. So, if you are trying to create better relationship habits, this might mean you hug your partner when you first wake up (instead of fumbling for your phone). Or if it’s improved upper strength you are craving, you might perform 10 push ups after you brush your teeth. Stop drinking wine once you’ve finished your meal, tidy your desk before you leave for the day….you get the idea.

• Make it ATTRACTIVE: Most of the time we do things because they feel good. Although, weirdly, studies have shown that it’s actually the anticipation of the event that gives us the motivating dopamine hit. So, rule two is about encouraging that dopamine and getting us excited to perform our new habit. Often our new habit (daily burpees, eating more vegetables) won’t exactly have us frothing with anticipation. So, the hack for this one is called ‘temptation bundling‘ – pairing an action you want to do with an action you need to do. After I call three potential clients (need), I can check Instagram (want). After I do 10 burpees (need), I can watch Love Island (want). If you want to super-size this you can combine the stack (from Rule 1) with the bundle (Rule 2). After my morning coffee (current habit), I will eat a piece of fruit (habit I need) – after I eat my fruit (habit I need), I will read the daily mail online* (want). Wow – look at you – eating healthy and doing your thing…..

• Make it EASY: The path of least resistance? Yes, please! Rule 3 is there to encourage less talk (about how fit/productive/mindful you are going to be) and create more action(run, tidy, sit still). ‘Habit formation is the process by which behavior becomes progressively more automatic through repetition’. The more you do a thing, the more the structure of your brain (neurons and sh*t) actually changes to get better and more efficient at that thing. But here’s the zinger – ‘habits form based on frequency, not time’. So, if you can make it easy to meditate every day or get your saggy ass moving with some frequency, it will become automatic quicker. One way to make it easier, is to remove any friction in your environment that might make said habit harder. You won’t need to scrabble around finding gym gear if it’s laid out the night before, it’s easy to avoid the last-minute panicked cheese toastie if you have food already prepped and you can’t constantly check your phone whilst working if you leave it in another room. The allure of the ‘easy’ is another reason we are encouraged just to start (put on running shoes/ walk for 5 minutes) – once we get started, we usually get the required momentum to continue. Plus starting small takes the pressure off us suddenly magically being the type of person who goes to Pilates 5 x a week and then getting disheartened and giving up when we discover we aren’t.

• Make it SATISFYING: ‘Pleasure teaches your brain that a behavior is worth remembering and repeating’. Making a habit attractive (Rule 2) might initially motivate us, but it’s Rule 4 that keeps us coming back for more. The problem with satisfaction, is that we prefer ours to be of the immediate kind (whereas much of the stuff we do in terms of daily habits – saving. exercising, practicing, smoking, sloth – take time to show their full benefits or hazards). So, you need to frame your habits (especially the avoidance ones – no smoking/drinking/donuts) in a way that makes them as instantly gratifying as possible. This might mean labeling your savings account ‘Bahamas holiday’ – that way it becomes less about saving/deprivation and more about every $50 getting you closer to your dream. Equally, mini-rewards – hot bath, massage, new work-out clothes – can help you stay motivated until the habit itself (and how much better, more secure, less stressed you feel) becomes the reward in itself.

And that, my friend, is when your identity (‘I am the type of person who never skips a work out’) kicks your desired January outcomes (‘I want to work out more’) to the curb. One obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying habit at a time.

This Get Thinner, Richer, Happier post was brought to you by someone who doesn’t have any bad habits….I am good at all of them 😉

*I was searching for a suitably seedy but relatable ‘want’ and The Daily Mail popped up – be warned – continual reading of this will rot your brain and make you stupid. READ THIS for further proof.