Most of us want to be better.
We want better bodies, better relationships, better career opportunities, better bank balances. And bizarrely, most of us already know what we need to do to get these better, more fulfilling and happier lives.
It’s not rocket science.
We just need to start eating better, spending quality time together, networking more, taking chances, putting in the hours and doing the work.
And YET, somewhere between the dream and the reality, the knowledge and the action there is an annoying DISCONNECT. It all just sounds a bit too hard. Or we decide it makes sense to get started next week. When we feel more ready. When the time is right. When motivation strikes.
Which, my friend, is EXACTLY our problem. Because Motivation is bullsh*t and, if you don’t believe me, then listen to Mel Robbin’s widely popularTed Talk . In it, she kindly reminds us, ‘You are NEVER going to feel like it.’
Why?
Because most of our lives are lived on AUTOPILOT and when we try and deviate from the norm, our brain pulls the EMERGENCY BRAKE. In order to protect us. Our brains are naturally wired to stop us doing anything that feels uncomfortable, uncertain or scary. Our brain would much prefer we kick back in our comfort zone. Safe and predictable. Staying exactly where we are.
Problem is, that we are not going to get BETTER staying exactly where we are.
So, what’s a girl (or guy) to do, if they truly want to get better? According to Mel, you are going to have to FORCE yourself, ‘because it’s not about what you feel, it’s about what you want. And’, don’t forget! ‘you are never going to feel like it.’
Her ‘5 Second Rule’ – which acts as a prompt for the ‘activation energy’ needed to get what you want in life – is as simple as counting backwards from 5.
5-4-3-2-1 – Then DO IT.
So, let’s say you are a slave to your snooze button. When you wake up tomorrow, count backwards, 5-4-3-2-1- and just get the hell up. If you have an impulse (I should go approach that person), 5-4-3-2-1- and go say ‘Hi’ and introduce yourself. If you get a great idea (I could start consulting freelance on the side) – 5-4-3-2-1- and start writing down a plan. If you are thinking about going for a run, 5-4-3-2-1 – and put on your gear.
Don’t think. Just Do.
Because ‘if you are in your head, you are behind enemy lines.’ Your thoughts are not going to help you get what you want. Seriously! ‘You would not hang out with people who talk to you the way you talk to yourself.’
As simple as it sounds, by counting down from 5, you are interrupting your regular patterns of behaviour and waking up your prefrontal cortex. With practice this then becomes a starting ritual, which can have the power to impact all the teeny, tiny micro decisions that make up our day.
Because, as Mel reminds us, ‘you are one decision away from a very different life’ and ‘you have a 5 second window in which you can move your idea into action, before your brain kicks in to full gear and sabotages any change in behaviour‘.
Newton’s first law of motion states that, ‘An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion’. So, the good news is, if you can just GET STARTED – out of bed, out the door, trainers on – then you are already 5,4,3,2,1, half way there.
This GET HAPPIER post is brought to you by someone who is definitely half way somewhere 😉